SOCIETY AND OTHER DISAPPOINTMENTS

Native to the Washington DC Area, I’ve been influenced by the DIY attitude that the city had while I was growing up and by the current underground art scenes in Baltimore City. While my work takes on different mediums, the underlying theme of awareness and mindfulness remains constant. Whether it is political and societal awareness, or personal awareness into your own motivations and state of being, I try to have my work be as pared down as possible; expressing large ideas or emotions without complexity.

I always encourage people to do two things, to make their own art and to buy the art of others. Artistic expression and appreciation is one of the few things that gets us out of our selfishness; it brings us empathy, understanding and a closeness to others, all things of which society is in desperate need.
— Ponder

Society and other disappointments . . .

I walk by you, but you say nothing

as if I’m not there.

I look at you and smile, but you scowl and turn your head

I say hello and ask how you are,

but I get no response.

I give an invitation and ask you to join me

but you are never available.

I watch while you ­make plans with others in front of me,

because you don’t understand that I’m real.

 

With no one to confide in, I have no confidence.

With no one showing interest in me, nothing interests me.

With no one to hold, I’m having trouble holding on.

 

Why did you have to reject me, not you, not now

I was ready this time, I was sure

you would have made me happy for once, forever.

Instead you made me into nothing,

a thousand shattered pieces that bear no resemblance

to the life I had imagined.

What am I supposed to do now

now ­­I know that you’re here

it hurts me even deeper

it was better to think that you didn’t exist

than to find you

and be told that I’m not deserving.

 

I hate this, and you

and your life without worry

and you getting to determine my future,

why should you have the power to do so

why am I left without a say.

 

At your mercy

high on love

an addict to the feeling

who knows they won’t ever feel that way again,

how can you be excited about life

when you found her

and she said no.

 

I’m not lost

being lost means you have a destination

I have nowhere to go

no memories of joy

no memories of love

finally finding it

and being rejected

I won’t find it again.

My mind is no longer a refuge

because it is tortured.

And every day I walk by you, but you say nothing

as if I’m not there.

I look at you and smile, but you scowl and turn your head

I say hello and ask how you are,

but I get no response.

I give an invitation and ask you to join me

but you are never available.

I watch while you ­make plans with others in front of me,

because you don’t understand that I’m real.