The Restless Mind of Betrayal

Streaming

My mind is restless

both focused and not

at the same time;

quiet and still

yet I remain

worried and discouraged.

My ears imagine on their own

hearing noises and voices,

knowing that they’ll never occur.

My eyes catch glimpses

of shadows and of light,

knowing that nothing is there.

My arms long to hold you

knowing that they won’t,

preferring disappointment.

My heart aches

creating a you to admire

building a pedestal,

then watching it collapse.

That which is not felt

is more appealing.

That which is not heard

which is not seen

which is not experienced,

is more interesting.

The known is unfulfilling

it brings no satisfaction

no truth.

 

I want to imagine,

I want to be

just outside of your reality,

I don’t want to be involved.

It’s all illusion,

and all so empty.

Waiting for something

that does not occur;

trying to reach something

that cannot be grasped.

My mind is restless

both focused and not

at the same time;

quiet and still

yet I remain

worried and discouraged.